I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
