doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
