If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
