Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A+ Viking dick
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
