i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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