By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
