WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
