11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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