New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
