who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
