Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So vagazzling was a success
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
