Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
