Its about making memories worth repressing
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We talked him into tasing himself.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
