census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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