Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i think i just lost a toe
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
