i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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