hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
if only i could text you this smell
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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