Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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