My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
