I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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