dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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