So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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