we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
