a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
