New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
