Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
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That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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