I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
