I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
either way he was missing a nipple.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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