What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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