i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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