My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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