He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
