hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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