she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
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You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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