If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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