I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize