felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
