belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
