the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
