I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize