yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
