It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
