Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
