Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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