"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
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