also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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