The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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