So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
