I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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