Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize