I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just want nice things and good sex
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
