when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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