Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
are you so shy because you have an std?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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