My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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